June 2012
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connordinary:
I’m on tumblr with KT
brb reblogging
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ugh, that moment when you have literally one outfit you can wear (because it’s a theme party and you thrifted an outfit specifically for this theme) but you feel too fat to wear it.
i felt fine when i tried it on yesterday. but today, i’m thinking about putting it on, and i’m just like… gross.
pussypoplikecolacoca:
why hasn’t their been a drag queen disney princess yet
Watch
kendrawcandraw:
kissedmequiteinsane:
nailed it
OH MY GOD
So this woman I used to be friends with… one of her best friends died last night in a car crash. She posted about it on facebook.
And then somebody asked, “any idea if it was his new car?”
WHAT THE FUCK.
My friend responded rather gracefully with “It was his friend’s car, not his new one.” And the person who asked the question liked the comment.
I hate the...
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I think I speak for everyone when I say... I'm...
doublesevens:
Yes that includes you, rubber gloves.
OH, I ASSIST IN MEDICAL PROCEDURES.
Go to hell, gloves.
I’m sorry to say that I had forgotten what day it is.
I blame gloves.
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Finished.
Several essay-type topics bumping around in my brain.
God, these books were terrible. But I’ve finished them now. lolol
ugly-feelings:
sometimes i just want to get a fake orange spray tan and bleach my hair blonde and wear hollister and a&f and american eagle and uggs exclusively and wear frosted lipglosses and make ducklips faces and care about jersey shore and gossip girl. because apparently “nice” dudes hate when girls that because it’s “fake”, it’s “slutty”, it’s overdone/tasteless/”dumb” but fuck you....
Watchkristenwiiggle:
this video > you
2 tags
effyeahnerdfighters:
tinychickendisease:
foolishoptimism:
mynightmaresareaboutlosingyou:
How can a man like John Green write something as gut-wrenchingly heart-breaking as tfios
and then throw himself against a wall to test if he is an octopus
just
how
technically those two events happened in the reverse order.
maybe tfios is john recovering from major octopus-testing head trauma
...
vvrists:
you know when someone makes kinda of like a mean joke about you and like obviously they’re kidding around but you know it’s true and then you just feel like shit for a really really really long time
yeah
TEST YOUR KEYBOARD
johnisdollywood:
steamxengenius:
loganese:
mustachemaslow:
thejewsboo:
sayingitpoetically:
sandver:
Hold both shift keys down, and try to type “THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG.”
HE QUIKU BROWN FO JUPS OER HE LA DOG
wat
HE QUIC BROWN OX UMP OVER HE Z OG
HE QUIK BROWN FO JUPS OER HE LA DOG
TEQUICKBRONOXUMSOVERTEAZYOG
THKBNFJSTHLAYDG
THKBNFJSTHLAYDG
HE QUIK...
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“Do you still love me?” he asks.
“Of course I do. Christian, I will always love you. No matter what you do to me.”
NONONONONONONO.
spoilers?
[[MORE]]She used a safeword for the first time. And she acknowledges that maybe what he’s doing wouldn’t be so bad if they were both in the scene for that purpose, but she understands that he’s acting out of...
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I trusted you....
poetic-destruction:
LOL my mistake.
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Cut for spoilers, I guess.
[[MORE]]Ana has this friend José. José has a huge crush on her, but she’s not interested in him. Christian is jealous to the point where he won’t allow them to be alone together. José took several photos of Ana for a photography show… Christian bought them all rather than let anyone else look at them. Ana insists that it’s nothing, they’re...
with these shackles on, you won't come to harm.:... →
akimbois:
these-shackleson:
akimbois:
“Don’t pee,” he whispers in my ear.
How will she know if he loves her if he won’t let her pee on him?
He was making her hold her pee because, as he later told her, “The fuller your bladder, the more intense your orgasm.”
I don’t know if it’s directly proportionate as…
The whole time you’ve been quoting the book all I can think is creepy old...
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akimbois:
“Don’t pee,” he whispers in my ear.
How will she know if he loves her if he won’t let her pee on him?
He was making her hold her pee because, as he later told her, “The fuller your bladder, the more intense your orgasm.”
I don’t know if it’s directly proportionate as such, but like… sure okay, it is sometimes true that having a full bladder can make...
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it...”
– Buddha (via stand-defiant)
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if i follow you i love you and hope you succeed in all your endeavors and would kindly touch your face in person if you consented
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just got an ad on spotify for a fifty shades-inspired playlist. with some weird guy awkwardly saying “laters, baby.” the playlist includes “sex on fire” by kings of leon and “i’m on fire” by bruce springsteen
GROSS
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…and my chagrin about butt plug washing is forgotten.
WHY AM I READING THIS
WHY IS THIS TEXT HAPPENING
there are so many sentences here that just
don’t need to exist
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I could certainly survive without ever again reading the word “perineum” used in a porn setting.
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I’m playing a game of Draw Something with SP’s roommate. I just drew the word “sink” for her.
I drew it a kitchen sink. Which made me think of her kitchen, so the entire time I’m drawing it I’m like lol I’ve had sex on your kitchen counter.
THE GOOD OLD DAYS
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Is it freaky that I want to be with him all the time?
yes.
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eridan-ampwwhora:
whatacrydonnie:
whatacrydonnie:
when you’re caught eating someone you’re not supposed to
I JUST SAID SOMEONE INSTEAD OF SOMETHING OH MY G O D
3 tags
Ok, so they’re in the French countryside and she mentions that they pass some men playing boules. Which is a sort of lawn-bowling game, related to bocce and another game called bowls.
But it reminded me of this absolutely TERRIBLE joke in Taming of the Shrew. Kate and Petruchio are arguing over whether the light in the sky comes from the sun or the moon.
Hortensio. Say as he says, or...
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“Don’t pee,” he whispers in my ear.
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My dad is so sick and drugged up right now that my mother is driving. This NEVER happens. HE DROVE HIMSELF TO THE HOSPITAL WHILE HE WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
He’s a terrrrrrible passenger. It’s the reason I never really got taught how to drive. I seriously just figured it out on my own (which is why I didn’t get my license until I was 19 years old, and why I was so bad for the...
Jack: Oh, I forgot I'm out of flour.
Sarah: There are some flowers on the plant in the windowsill.
Me: I can try to reverse-engineer some flour from the bread.
Jack: ...
Jack: ...
Jack: ...
Me: We're helpful!
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somethingtoavenge:
I was going to make a post that said “man, Matt Bohmer would be a great older!Augustus Waters.”
but then I remembered
Augustus Waters doesn’t get older.
